And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
