I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
