That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
