Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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