Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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