Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
