Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
