i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
