I accidentally had phone sex last night
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize