Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
All the doctor said was why
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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