I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
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I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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