all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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