did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
