i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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