he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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