you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
