david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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