are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
