Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
