doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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