i would punch a child for taco bell
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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