batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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