I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
