mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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