oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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