dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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