Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
either way he was missing a nipple.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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