My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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