what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
