I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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