I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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