i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
