this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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