forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
