Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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