Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
