We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
