Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
