he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
