i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
