My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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