Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Betty ford says i'm here all night
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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