i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
