i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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