How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
