what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
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woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
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2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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