Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
