he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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