Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
your room smells of hookers.
And success
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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