Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
