Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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