I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
