Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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