No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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