Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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