And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
