Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
