and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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