Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
