so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
This is the prime rib incident all over again
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
