he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
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My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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