I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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